It's Raining Men
by MickeyThePal
Summary: Blaire and Amber had stopped to top up on fuel when they saw the kittens. 10 of them, all gathered around their beaten-down, grey Toyota Tundra. It only got weirder from then. AKA, a traditional 'Akatsuki got turned into kittens' story. We stan the Akatsukitties ;3 ((will probably go into fix-it territory, as out babies deserve a happy ending. Cover by me Title changed.))
1. This Ain't A Dream, Lads

I've been wanting to write this darn thing for so long now. Finally, I have fulfilled my dream of adding to the Akatsukitty trope. I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Even in the shinobi world, there were just some things you don't expect. Some occurrences that were a little strange.

Granted, it had to be something wild to feel out of place in a world with talking frogs and snake-men.

So, when Deidara woke up, he thought that maybe this was one of them 'occurrences'. He was surrounded by very, very large cats. Then, when he realised the reason behind them being so huge, was because he was also a cat, he decided that yes. This was definitely one of those times.

He frowned (as well as he could, anyway) at the loud humming of… cars… going past. Lights flashed by in the dark, letting him look at the cats around him. It took a minute or so for him to realise that they looked exactly like his comrades.

There were a lot of cars going by, which was strange. He knew of their existence, of course, but he never heard of a place with so many of them. They weren't very popular in any of the countries he had gone to. His frown turned into a scowl as rain started to patter down onto his fur. Proving that yes, it could get worse.

**_"_****_What the fuck,"_** A voice grumbled from a couple feet away. Deidara recognised this as Hidan - the rain must have awakened him.

**_"_****_Any idea what's happening, yeah?"_**

**_"_****_I got high as fuck is what happened,"_** Hidan scowled, shaking his dirty paw in front of his face, **_"why couldn't I be a lion, damnit."_**

Deidara scoffs,**_ "You're more likely to be a rat, un."_**

Snarling, he swiped at Deidara's face. Unfortunately for him, it did nothing, as he had not yet gotten used to the new anatomy Jashin had 'gifted' him with. Thus, no claws. Thus, no damage.

It did piss the blonde off though.

**_"_****_Watch it, yeah!"_** Deidara scampered back, glaring.

**_"_****_You two are as insufferable as always, I see,"_** a course voice drawled out. The source, a red cat, looked at them both with a hint of annoyance in his eyes.

**_"_****_Sasori?!"_** The blonde practically yelled, grinning, **_"I thought, you were dead, un!"_**

**_"_****_That's because I was,"_** The puppet gazed around him sluggishly, **_"Unfortunately, it seems like I'm back with you all."_**

Deidara went back to scowling pretty quickly at that comment. Hidan was busy pawing at his tail, not paying attention to what was happening.

**_"_****_Any idea where we are, yeah?"_**

Sasori gave him a blank stare. **_"I've been dead for a while, idiot. I'm the least likely to know."_**

Deidara grunted in response. **_"Should we wake up the others?"_** he nudged at a big blue cat, presumably Kisame.

**_"_****_Probably."_**

* * *

Ten minutes later, and the majority had woken up. The only one left was Kakuzu, and Hidan was quite happy to leave him asleep.

**_"_****_What are we to do, Leader?"_** Itachi said, gazing steadily into the ginger's eyes. They were without the rinnegan. Useful, if their plan would be to pass off as normal cats.

The rain still drizzled, by now they were all damp and uncomfortable.

**_"_****_We should find shelter. It would be unwise to stay outside with such weather whilst in such a weak form."_**

Konan nodded in agreement. They had all attempted the use of chakra, but to no avail. In this state, they were susceptible to many things they usually would not be.

A car went by, rolling into a puddle, leaving Hidan drenched.

**_"_****_FOR FUCK'S SAKE! I'LL EAT YOUR FUCKING FACE YOU LITTLE"-_** He was cut off by a large paw smacking him in the back on the head.

**_"_****_Shut. Up."_**

And now the last of them was awake. Not in a particularly happy mood, but awake nonetheless. A quick explanation from Kisame later, and he was even more unhappy.

Tobi jumped up and down, swatting at his tail, and squealed, **_"Tobi is so cute!" _**He continued prancing around Deidara (who looked like he'd rather in a room with 20 Uchiha's than deal with this).

Kakuzu eyed him, not in the mood for his antics.

**_"_****_Tobi."_**

Tobi had the common sense to stop his antics, then hide behind Deidara at Kakuzu's warning tone and deathly glare.

**_"_****_Don't hurt Tobi! Tobi's a good boy!"_**

Pein looked at them all tiredly. This is most definitely not how he wanted the day to go.

* * *

They had travelled down the road more, towards where the cars had been heading. On multiple occasions Deidara had tried to push Tobi into oncoming traffic, hoping for the best. All times he had gotten a stern look from Konan or Pein, however they did not do anything more. Perhaps they, too, were sick of the hyperactive brat.

Sasori knew he was. Oh, how things had worsened since his death.

**_"_****_Stop."_** Pein commanded, and they all did so immediately. A few metres ahead of them, a dark grey car had pulled into a small clearing, engine stuttering as it came to a holt. The doors opened, and two females exited.

"You said you filled it," A ginger lady opened the back of the car, looking slightly annoyed.

"Oops?" The other grinned, as she stretched out, "I swear to God, I cannot spend any more time in that damn metal box - my back is killing me."

The ginger sighed, pulling out a green tub of some sort.

**_"_****_Let's go further, perhaps we can win their affections, and acquire shelter," _**Konan spoke to Pein quietly. He nodded, and they steadily went closer, Tobi giggling softly.

"You should be thankful I carry spares, we're in the middle of the motorway. It would take hours for any service to come to us."

"The hell is a motorway, un?"

* * *

Amber had regretted her offer to drive almost immediately after setting off. Then again, Blaire had looked so exhausted after the trip – seeing her relax on the seat next to her was worth it.

By the time she had realised about forgetting to fill the baby up with fuel, it was too late to do anything about it.

She watched guiltily as the meter ticked down after every mile, glancing to her side, knowing that soon the ginger had to be awoken. Hopefully Blaire had used her common sense once again and put a spare tank in the boot.

"Uh, Bee?"

No response.

"Bee~?" Amber sing-songed, leaning to the side slightly, nudging the other with her elbow.

"Blaire, if you don't wake up, I'll start playing Lily Allen."

Slowly, tired eyes opened and trailed to Amber's face, blinking hazily.

"Hozier is better."

Was the ginger's response after a few, silent seconds. Amber laughed loudly, eyes twinkling.

"Sure, sure. Oh, and uh, we're out of gas."

Blaire groaned.

* * *

"Tell me, Amber, what did I say to you as soon as we left Ray?" The ginger pinched her nose in frustration, leaning against the back of the car.

**_"_****_Amber? Weird name."_** Kisame looked over at them, peeking around the bush they were currently behind.

The blue-haired girl, Amber, pokes her tongue out at the other.

"Shuddup, you know I have a bad memory…" she then continued with pouring the liquid in the tank into the car.

**_"_****_We should go forward now, before they leave, Leader," _**Konan spoke again. Pein dimply nodded in agreement.

**_"_****_Come. Act as naturally as possible."_**

Hidan cursed under his breathe, **_"I would if I knew how a cat fuckin' acted."_**

Pein shot a hard look, **_"Try."_**

They all pattered forward. Tobi, of course, bounced.

**_"_****_Come on Senpai, let's say hello to the pretty girls!"_**

**_"_****_Shut up."_**

The meowing was heard by the ginger, who had been staring down at a small, metal rectangle.

"Uh. Amber." She stared blankly down, blinking slowly.

"Yes babes?" Amber stood up, then slowly looked towards the kittens that had gathered.

"Oh my God," she placed the tank down on the ground, carefully stepping towards the Akatsuki. She lowered herself to the ground, stretching her arm out slowly.

Tobi was the first to take action, nuzzling his head against her leg.

"Oh my God," her eyes practically shined, and she wasted no time in scooping the small black kitten up.

"Amber, you'll get rabies," The ginger stared at the exchange, "If you get rabies, you will die, I will be very sad."

Amber turned to stare at the other, "Bee, babes, does this cutie look like he has rabies?" She held Tobi out towards her.

Tobi meowed the cutest meow he could meow.

Deidara scoffed, flabbergasted at the thought that _anyone _could _ever_ find Tobi 'cute'. Bee thought for a few seconds.

"Symptoms of rabies only appear a few months after contracting it. So, it's very possible."

Amber then had second thoughts about her current affection toward Tobi and placed him down carefully.

"…. Oops."

**_"_****_He probably does have rabies, the little shit,"_**Hidan smirked proudly at his amazing and inspirational insult.

"Hey, uh, Bee…" Amber's eyes glinted in the moonlight.

A beat of silence.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

Amber turned to Bee, picking both Tobi and Konan. "But- look at these babies! Cristen would love them."

**_"_****_Poor Konan..." _**Kisame shook his head in sympathy as he looked at the uncomfortable look on her face.

Bee seemed to have wavered, as she stared at the small group of cats in front of her. She turned on her flashlight to look at them all, a dumbstruck look on her face.

"We HAVE to keep them. They need a home!" her pout strengthened, eyes glistening with unshed tears."

"… fine."

* * *

The next few minutes were spent loading the cats (10 of them!) into the back of the car.

"You know, Am', this isn't the worst idea you've ever had," Blaire had sat in the back, with the kittens with her, to watch over them. She was happy she did, as the silver one had already attempted to shred the seat in front of him.

"Duh. I'm chock full of good ideas."

Blaire raised an eyebrow at her response, reminiscing of all the ideas the other had come up with. The memory of their failed attempt at a visit to an anime convention being at the front of her thoughts.

"Right…. Sure…." She mumbled, pulling the black kitten with a cute, ginger face off a snarling, blonde. She felt like if she didn't, there would most definitely be bloodshed.

"Oi, we've got an hour left off this trip. I can make it hell," Amber grinned at Blaire through the top mirror, "I've still got Lily's track in 'ere…"

Blaire stared open-mouthed. Damnit! She was in the back, with no way to fight back if Amber had decided to follow through with her unsaid threat. She knew there was something off with the other's offer to drive the car, giving up the chance to sit with all the animals now in the back.

"You wouldn't."

Amber winked.

* * *

No hate towards Lily Allen by the way, her music is amazing :) ~ Please feel free to give criticism! i will literally cry with happiness if you do. have a lovely day!


	2. Already Too Attached

_Thank you so much to AO3 user KenzieP - she gave some excellent advice on cat's fur colours, so our babies will be looking a lot more natural. She is also my first review on this, so thank you so damn much!_

"I can't believe I let you do this." Blaire sighed out, shaking her head.

The girls stood on their doorstep. Each was holding a large-ish cardboard box, with 5 cats in each.

"Don't worry too much about it, babe, they'll grow on y' eventually," Amber struggled with the keys as she spoke. Her only source of light was the dim street post a few metres away.

"What, like a fungus?" Bee said, dryly. It wasn't that Blaire didn't like cats. Actually, it was the contrary. She loved them. She wasn't really expecting to get so many at once, though. And it was hard to deny Amber when she looked so excited. You would have to have to will and self-control of a monk to deny those bright blue eyes.

"Exactly like a fungus."

Shaking her head, she chuckled slightly while they walked into the home.

"Chrissy, babes, we're home!" A soft thumping is heard as a short girl comes down. Grunting, Blaire puts down her box on the ground, a few fluffy heads poking out from the top.

"How, uh, how come- how come you're so late?" Christen looked at them all, eyebrows drawn together with worry. Amber grinned, holding up her box.

"_Kittens._ We found kittens. Had to stop at Pet-mart on the way back – also, Blaire has a really talkative family. Like, imagine a clucking chicken, except the chicken is yapping on about her 'prodigal' daughter," Amber scoffed, looking annoyed for a few seconds.  
Blaire huffed. "They barely speak to me nowadays, you can't blame them."

Christen didn't comprehend anything after the mention of kittens. Eyes had long ago went wide, a grin splitting her face into two.

"_KITTENS?!"_ She squealed, sliding to the ground, and picked up a reddish-orange tabby. "She –" Christen stopped herself, and quickly checked between its legs "- sorry, uh, he's so cute!" A white cat in the same box seemed to laugh at the tabby's situation.

Christen's eyes went wider, as she turned to the other two. They were watching her with slight amusement. "Are we keeping them?"

"Uh, well –"

"Yes!" Amber cut the ginger off, tipping out the other 5 kittens from her box onto the floor. "So, we better get to naming them~!"

"_**So, we're gonna be their pets, hm?"**_ Deidara huffed, picking himself up after his undignified tip onto the wooden floor.

"_**It seems so. **__~How dehumanising~,_" Zetsu around him, taking in his surroundings.

It was an open-plan living space, not huge, but comfortable. The walls were an unsaturated orange colour, making the whole place feel very warm.

Pain, still being snuggled by the dark-haired girl, did not look comfortable. She was cradling him in her arms - the affection was foreign.

"_**Try your best to act like normal felines. We do not want them knowing who we really are – not yet," **_he coughed out, trying to remain professional. It was hard to be a leader while trying to hold back the urge to purr.

Hidan would have laughed, except Pain was purposefully making direct eye contact with him. And not the 'hey, cutie' kind of direct eye contact. The 'if you say anything I will make your life a misery' kind of direct eye contact.

Even though Hidan's cat form was a lot bigger that Pain's, he had enough brain cells to know that pissing him off now would be a bad idea.

Tobi bounced his way by Christen, rubbing his face against her leg. "_**Tobi loves his new form! He loves this floor, and his tail, and -"**_

Deidara growled. "_**Shut the hell up! You're gonna give me a damn headache, yeah."**_

The two girls sat down, cross-legged, beside Christen.

"This one shall be named Mr Floof." Christen said determinedly, staring 'Mr Floof' straight into his eyes.

"Mr Floof? Really?" Amber grins. "He's a skinny little shit – Mr Floof is more suitable for this chunky baby," She pats The Kisame and pulls him onto her lap.

"_**Well, might as well enjoy the vacation – right, 'Tachi?"**_ Kisame brushes his bluish-silver fur out of his eyes, looking pleased with himself. Being described as 'floofy' in this form wasn't the worst thing ever, he supposed. Hell, he should probably take it as a complement.

"_**Hn."**_

Pain however, was struggling to hold onto any dignity he had left.

Blaire nods in agreement, before holding up Hidan. The negative reaction was immediate – he tried to swipe at her face. He had discovered how to use his claws, and it had been hell for everyone since.

Luckily, Bee had learnt her lesson from the car ride back and kept him a safe distance away.

"_**Put me down you little fucking bi-,"**_ Hidan snarled, legs kicking.

"Lucifer," she said stoically, staring into his pale pink-ish eyes. "Because you look like an angel, but act like a twat and a general nuisance."

Kakuzu stared at them, bemused, agreeing completely.

Amber looked at her, eyebrow raised. "Are you still salty about the car?"

"Yes," Blaire said simply.

Hidan hissed. "_**Your car's a shitty piece of shit!"**_

"… _**what a creative insult,"**_ Sasori stared at him with a deadpan look on his cat-face.

"_**Go fuck yourself, puppet boy."**_

"Of course, Bee… any-hoo, my turn!" Impatient, Amber grinned and pointed at Kisame, who was still relaxing on her lap. "This is Floofy Senior, because why the hell not. Also, it seems he would make an excellent pillow."

"Do not use the cat as a pillow, Ames. You will suffocate him." Blaire deadpanned,

"Bee's, uhm, Bee's right Amber. It won't end well," Cristen said quietly, tugging at her jumper's sleeve. "If you need a soft – a softer pillow, I can, I can make one."

Amber laughed again. "Don't worry, my friends – I still have SOME common sense."

"_**She took in 10 wild cats, without knowing if they had an infectious disease or not. It is doubtful there is any common sense in her mind," **_Sasori eyed her.

"_**Don't be so mean, danna, hm!**_" Deidara scowled at the (ex?) puppet, nudging him with his light blonde paw.

Cristen had seemed to have picked her next kitten, as she picked up a squealing Tobi.

"_**Tobi's next 3!"**_

'_How the hell did he say that out loud, hm?!'_

Cristen squinted her warm brown eyes as she studied the kitten. First off, it was a he. It was mostly black, with his front left paw and part of his body being a strange white. Most importantly, he was missing an eye.

"Nick Furry."

"Nick Furry?" Amber questioned. Blaire, too, looked at her questioningly

"He's missing his right eye," a pause as a dark look fell over Christen's face. "If I ever find who did this to him, I will skin them alive and use their skin to make myself a leather jacket."

Silence befell the room.

If they could have done that classic anime sweat drop, they would have. Unfortunately, this was not an anime, or a cartoon. This was real life, so they just had to stare awkwardly.

Even Tobi had looked a little put-off. He had forgotten that his face was now visible, and that his eye (or lack thereof) was on display.

"_**Yeah, uh, Tobi, hm, why don't you have an eye? Poked it out with a stick, yeah?"**_ Deidara rolled his eyes, thinking of all the dumb ways Tobi could have lost it.

"_**Sorry Senpai, but Tobi forgot!"**_ Tobi giggled.

"_**You're an idiot, hm."**_

"Well then, Nick Furry suits him perfectly then!" Amber brushed the comment off (they were both used to it, after all). She then wastes no time, and picks up Deidara. He was pretty miffed, but accepted his fate.

She stared at him for a good minute.

"Prompto."

Blaire smiled, reaching over to pet his head. "Prompto is perfect."

"Look at him, Bee! He's gorgeous! Such pretty blue eyes..." Amber cooed

Deidara looked away, abashed. "_**O-of course i am… I have an excellent skin-care routine, yeah!"**_

Sasori snorts.

This brings him to the attention of a certain Bee, and she pokes his side.

"This one is Terry," She stated.

"Uh… Terry?" Cristen tilted her head curiously.

"He is red. Like my computer. My computer is named Terry. Thus, Terry," Blaire nodded her head, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Sasori shrugged. Terry didn't seem like such a bad name.

"Also, Terry Crews is amazing, and I feel like I must honour him in some way. It would be a crime to not name at least one cat Terry."

At this, both the others nodded in agreement.

"_**Who the hell is Terry Crews, hm?" **_

Silence befell the group. No one knew.

"_**I am unsure if we are still in the shinobi nations, Pain-Sama. The chakra signatures that I have sensed so far are… strange. Weak, untrained. Very foreign." **_Itachi said.

"_**First, we will try our best to return to our human forms. There is not much we can do at this time. Then, we will concentrate on returning."**_

"_**Yes, Leader-Sama," **_They all chorused back.

"Shawn Mendes. This one is Shawn Mendes." Christen petted the chocolate-y brown cat softly. He was definitely an odd one - with stitches all over, Amber thought the name was appropriate.

"Shawn Mendes…?" Blair's looked confused, eyeing her friend with confusion.

Christen giggled. "He has stitches, Bee. Shawn Mendes wrote a song called stitches."

"Honestly Blaire, it's like you live under a rock," Amber shook her head, disappointed in the ginger.

"If I lived under a rock, so would you. We live together, my dear," Bee pointed out, lips twitching.

"Either way, you can't expect me to know every pop song under the sun. That is _your_ forte."

Amber rolled her eyes. "It's a figure of speech, babes," she says, picking up a strange half-black half-white cat.

"Oreo. Do I even need to explain it?" Amber laughed as the others shook their heads. "Yeah, I thought so."

As Oreo was set onto the floor, Blaire picked up a small, black cat. She placed him on her lap, carefully, and they stared at each other for a good few seconds.

"Sebastian," she murmured, scratching behind its ear.

"Nerd!" Amber called out, using her hands as a mock megaphone.

"I'm not the one with a Bucky Barnes body pillow, Amber."

Amber spluttered, turning red. "O-Oi, watch it, ginger."

Christen giggled, watching them with great endearment.

"Come on guys. Time for, time for the last, but not least!" Christen smiled warmly, picking up a small, dilute calico kitten. A small squeal left her throat, as she held the kitten up. Almost like that one scene in The Lion King.

"Princess," Christen sighed out. "She's so majestic, and, and graceful!" She proceeds to put her down. Princess steps out of her hold, with as much grace as a damned ballerina, proving Chrissy's point. She immediately walked her way to Mr Floofy, sitting by his side.

"Awh, Mr Floofy and Princess are friends!" Amber cooed, smiling coyly. "Did you get kitty-condoms, bee~?"

That, of course, made Lucifer… laugh? It was a strange, loud meowing noise, with the rhythm of a cackle. Honestly, it was vaguely disturbing.

Mr Floofy did not look happy.

"These cats are… really weird," Blaire murmured, ignoring Amber's comment.

She watched as 'Shawn' hit the cackling cat. She watched as they both began snarling at each other. She watched 'Mr Floofy' bristle with anger, as Princess meowed to him. She watched, with great curiosity, as it seemed like they understood Amber's words.

_Yeah... I know a lot hasn't happened. But! Blaire has become suspicious~ ooooo ;)_


	3. A Pinch of Chaos

**i am sorry for the late update. _its short_, as ive not been feeling very big brain today.**

**although i have a notebook full of dozens of planned chapters, when it comes to writing it out my brain decides to stop and smell the flowers.**

**also have stopped the kittens having bolded speech. i will change it back if it's requested.**

**PS. tiny mention of peta. dont support peta guys. they bad.**

**~~UPDATED BECAUSE FORMATTING~~**

* * *

"I'm going to make myself some food," Amber sat up, stretching her arms.

"You ate at Mother's, didn't you?" Blaire cocked an eyebrow questioningly.

Amber's face scrunched up. "You mean that disgustingly salty soup? Bee, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but your mum can't cook to save her life."

"Oi."

Laughing, Amber flung Floofy Senior on her shoulder, and tucked Princess under her arm. "It's true, Bee. Anyway, I'm gonna boil some ramen. Maybe our wittle babies like it too!" Amber scratched Floofy Snr's ear as she walked out the room.

"I don't think cats should eat Ramen…"

"Are you, um, are you hungry, Bee? I have some chicken wraps left…" Kristen said.

Blaire shook her head. "No, I guess I'm used to mother's cooking…" she scowls, turning to the kitchen entrance. "Even though it's not that bad!"

"I've got a report to finish up, Gary's been acting up again." Kris sighed, moving to the stairs. "Let me know if you need anything."

"I gotta take the recycling out anyway…"

* * *

Surprisingly, 2 minutes after they were left alone, hell had not yet broken loose.

It was merely a matter of time, though, Itachi knew.

His colleagues had this strange ability to make everything they ever did chaotic and migraine-inducing.

Madara's act was usually the trigger for most of this - he managed to grate at the patience of everyone around him. True, it was vaguely amusing to see Deidara screech and attempt to kick the man (cat?) across the room, but Itachi was unsure if the (questionable) pros outweigh the cons.

Before he could even contemplate this further, there was a loud crash as a plant pot crashed to the ground.

Why, you may ask? Well, Deidara had finally succeeded in launching Tobi a few metres, and Tobi had flown into the leaves of a tall plant. The force had knocked the whole thing over, and there was now dirt everywhere.

"Tobi, you stupid little shit," Zetsu growled. He had been a victim of the attack, dirt piled on top of his head.

"Tobi's sorry! Tobi couldn't stop!" he squealed, trying to run away. It was too late. Zetsu had already jumped at him, murder gleaming in his eyes.

"Woah watch it-" Hidan had been caught in the crossfire, and proceeded to fly into Kakuzu.

* * *

"Nothing like a bowl of ramen," Amber sighed out, pulling out a tub of it right out the freezer. Floofy Snr meowed.

* * *

"I'll fucking kill you!" Hidan growled at Kakuzu, who was looking particularly pissed. Now entangled in a mess of wires, he thrashed wildly, trying to escape.

"Try it."

* * *

"Tell me why- AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A MISTAKE,'' jamming loudly, Amber swung to the beat as the microwave slowly spun her nom-noms within its body.

* * *

"Stop it!" Pein protested the chaos around him, only to be ignored as a glass smashed onto the floor.

"LET ME OUT!" Screeching, Hidan was now almost completely invisible to the eye, wrapped in more wires than Pein had even thought was in that corner.

* * *

"What the fuck."

All movement ceased. 8 small heads turned to Amber, standing under the doorway with a face full of ramen.

* * *

The cats, the girls decided, were pests. Lovable pests, but pests nonetheless. Being pests, they were quite difficult to live with.

This thought was across in all of their three minds as they stared around the destroyed room.

"Unbelievable," Blaire muttered, observing the consequences of the Kitty War. "We leave them for - what, five minutes?" Exasperated, she eyed a dirt-covered Oreo. "There's no way we can keep them."

"No!" Kristen blurted, eyes wide. "The only shelter nearby is a PETA one, and- and we all know how that'll end." She bites her lip, plucking Nick Fury from between the blinds.

"Hm…." Amber thinks, "Kris, when's your brother coming back from America?"

"He st-still has a, month or so left," Kristen replies, brushing the dirt off of Nick. "Plus I'm not, I'm not sure how much he likes cats…"

"We should get them neutered." Blaire said blankly.

Of course, the cats were not pleased with this. Especially not Lucifer.

The little devil's immediate reaction was loud hissing, and scrambling to escape his position trapped under Shawn. Shawn, who also did not have a particularly pleased look on his face.

Amber chuckled. "It takes a lot of balls to suggest that." She grinned widely, winking at Blaire.

"I'm not getting my balls chopped off, un!" Deidara yelled, horrified.

"Then stop acting like a brat." Sasori hissed. Now he had a fleshy form, and could actually feel, he did not enjoy the idea of his balls being removed either. He had experienced it once, and even when it had been through his own will it wasn't his most favoured memory.

"Sasori is right. If you do not wish to be castrated, you must behave well."

"Yes, leader." Deidara grumbles.

Konan and Kisame, who were not there for the chaos that unfolded, stared in disbelief at the dirt and broken glass that lay scattered on the floor.

* * *

**i will probably majorly edit/delete later on. because it is shit. owo. save me :)**


End file.
